We are in France for Bastille Day, how apropos! We spent the day at Anduze, still in Alès, by the river. However, our hosts did not tell us exactly HOW we were getting there, and how could they since they don’t speak English, nor am I fluent in French. We drove up a beautiful hill…. the colors are so vibrant, cheery, like Crayola Crayons. Imagine true Green trees, against a true Blue sky…. Tumbleweed and Desert Sand earth…. Maize, Peach, and Salmon houses with Sea Green and Sky Blue shutters all with Burnt Sienna roofs…….. We pulled over into a tiny parking lot and walked across the little bridge overlooking the river, and I’m already wondering how we are supposed to get there, as they point to it. The Romans created this narrow, wobbly, twist-your-ankle, rock path …. Did I mention I am afraid of heights AND clumsy? I didn’t look down, because, well, why bother to panic? Up and down the path we go….. and behold, a cave-like structure up ahead and I’m thinking, do I stop breathing now or later? On that long list of fears, is a bit of claustrophobia, but I trudged on, because, really, what was I supposed to do? Turn around and go where?? During my silent meltdown, I remembered the Empress tarot card, which urges me to connect with nature, so I acquiesced. And if my friend could go bear watching in Alaska, then I can do this….. and look at the hidden treasure of natural beauty….
Soooo worth being scared. I did not venture into the water, it has to be warm OR it has to be close to fried egg steamy our for me to go into cold water. Plus, there were teeny fish swimming around. One adventure at a time, I’m not Wonder Woman!
After a day of taking photos, writing, and reading in perfect tranquility, we headed back home for dinner and to freshen up. Took a photo of the Virgin Mary looking over Alès.
At 22:15, (10:15 pm) we headed out for the fireworks to celebrate the 14th of July. Little did I know we were going up this same hill photographed earlier. Remember, my fear of heights? We went up the hill, the typical French windy road, with typical French fast driving, (Who am I kidding? Borderline reckless is the norm), with not much shoulder room and a precipitous drop. Again, sooooooo worth it……The view is stunning!!!!
Getting back down was a fright, but I kept my head down, white-knuckling the seat belt, vacillating about whether or not to actually secure it in, (and I know I will get an earful about car safety) because, as usual, I replayed a movie scene in my head: the car rolling down the dark hill into the dark night….. is it better to jump out and break my neck or roll around in the car and break my neck? Such imagery, complete with a play-by-play of my death, including the thought that I would die happy! Obviously, I’m fine……
Now that I’m thinking (writing) about this topic, I’m sure I absorbed most fears by listening to other people describe their fears….. just like how I used to believe everything I saw on television. And, because of my clumsiness, I’ve had some nasty tripping accidents, which makes me fear unsure footing and long falls. (Yet, I am not afraid of air travel or the highest amusement park rides…??) So my “scary” experiences, the scary experiences I see on television, plus the scary experiences I hear from others, must linger and manifest in my life. HOW CAN IT NOT? It makes perfect sense, reinforced by my Cancerian nature to mimic what others feel. I want to form my opinions from my OWN experiences. Another reason for me to shut out nonsense, I have more than enough residual rigmarole that I’m working on already! The baby wasn’t afraid this afternoon because she didn’t know there was anything to be afraid of………This is why I write, the truth eventually comes out.