I must amend my former post…. not that I don’t still feel that way… but clearly WWM (writing while moody), probably ticked off at a family member, making my writing slanted and blunt and harsh. Always going deeper for meanings and truths, I completely spaced out on this aspect and must come clean. There are circumstances in which I do lie, and will continue to lie in the future. For example, I will lie for my great-aunt, who is independent and set in her ways. Aside from arthritis, her health is pretty good, but walking for a long time and carrying heavy packages can be difficult for her. If not with me, she mostly travels alone between car service and public busses. Additionally, she attends church service every Sunday (except in inclement weather) and other church outings. On Sunday, she will be 90 years old!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, she will not accept any help unless I am a bit sneaky. She is older and can use assistance with running errands to save her energy for other things. Like most retired Americans, she is on a fixed income. I assume she can’t get all the niceties and treats like she used to, so I do what I can without making her feel like she is can’t manage on her own. I will pick up an artisan cheese, pastries, orange juice, or even a bottle of Bailey’s will make her smile! But then she will ask about the price, because I bought a more expensive brand or whatever. So I tell her there was a sale, or I bought double, or I received a freebie…. That’s the only way she will accept anything without trying to give me money back. Randomly, I’ll ask if she needs something from outside because “I’m going to the store.” I’m not going to store, but I have to say that so she will tell me what she needs.
I have some guilt because I am being hypocritical, I’m Miss “truth truth truth.” I wrestle with this. But the lying allows me to help her. Her comfort and happiness is VERY important to me. But I am honest about that. She is always pleased when I do anything for her. Her face lights up in delight. And she loves surprises, and I love that she loves that. I’m so lucky that she isn’t bitter and miserable. You never hear her complain, never talk badly about others, never cranky….. Tia has been a positive constant in my life, I will do ANYTHING for her. (I even woke up to watch Kate and William get married and I’m quite positive I went to bed super late the night before…) I don’t just come out and tell her lies, I try to avoid answering how much I paid for something… but still……
Thinking more about it, when I’m feeling generous, which is often, I do lie about how much I paid for a gift (because good friends KNOW me), or tell a friend that I didn’t switch plans around when they needed me, or that it was no problem to talk to someone when my bed was calling….. I don’t want anyone to feel bad because of something I did for them. Helping or supporting whatever you want to call it (loving?) …… can be seen as a major inconvenience…. or what you do for love….. it is my choice how to look at it and I prefer the latter. The absolute truth can’t apply to all situations. But I don’t think I should stress out because my intention is never to hurt anyone with my “truths” or “untruths”…. and the universe knows that because whatever I put out comes right back to me….