With a little nudge from the universe, the Four of Cups and the Four of Pentacles continue to resurface in my readings. It is time to ponder my relationship to the Benjamins (or Jacksons).
Money comes, money goes. It is a thing, a medium of exchange. I don’t love it, I don’t hate it. I’m not freaked out when I don’t have plenty. (Discord in relationships causes me more distress than lack of money.) But, in reality, an ambivalent attitude can’t attract a steady flow of income!
Involuntarily, I can absorb others’ trepidation about spending cash, caught up in a quicksand of dread, that I really want no part of. By staying disconnected, I thought I could counterbalance the attitude of unhealthy attachment to money. Therein lies the issue. I know that saving every last penny doesn’t guarantee safety and security. (I will never be lulled into a stupor after 9/11.) I live in the NOW, with karmic awareness. However, when I allow anxiety to creep in (by ingesting information from outside sources), it shakes up my faith in my abilities to make proper decisions about money.
A few days ago, I had a few “extra” bucks and immediately thought of a friend who could use some. Instinctively, I pulled out a twenty to send in a card. But, then I started to second guess and FEAR entered ….. maybe I should hold on to it for an emergency… maybe I’ll need (extra??) food …..maybe I should discuss it with my husband (really?) … maybe I should send ten dollars or five dollars….
I had to STOP, DROP, AND ROLL…. (Stop thinking fearfully.) What was my FIRST thought? Send twenty dollars. (Drop into silence to figure out the answer.) It was my first thought because it came from my heart. Roll with the path of least resistance. (Or should I hoard (fear) instead, because twenty dollars is going to make a huge difference in the bigger picture? Sending out THAT message into the universe WILL create a situation in which I will need twenty dollars, because the powers of my obsessive thinking is powerful.) So, I let it go, not expecting that the universe OWES ME.
I’m discovering a healthy balance: Responsibility without deprivation, never fearing the future. My income and wealth only seem to fully depend on the economy. Beliefs other than prosperity no longer dictate my thoughts or actions. I can create whatever I wish.
Yesterday, friends appeared bearing gifts of exercise sneakers, baked goods, fruits, and a computer. All needed. (Much love to “little angel” and Lili). My faith in the universe is unshakable. All the worry over money, doesn’t bring me more money. It just doesn’t. My focus is on gratitude for all the richness in my life. I’m entering into a propitious time, I FEEL it.