This has been a very good week so far, despite the fact that my blackberry, itouch, both computers at home, PLUS the computer at work, decided to act up… I took that as a sign that I should remain introspective and take care of incompletions… And if communications are screwy, and people already have a hard time understanding me, then I will take FULL advantage and lay low… complete focus.
Today I planned to run errands and thought about taking my camera… No such luck… kind of feeling “ish” and didn’t want to go on subway feeling ill.
Instead of pouting for most of the day, like I usually do, I regrouped and turned on music to and tackle my growing pile of papers. Intuitively, I knew I shouldn’t push myself physically. Normally, when I’m feeling under the weather, I watch HULU all day long. Not this time. I stayed in the bedroom most of the day… except when I HAD to play air guitar and sing (more like screech) with Joan Jett – ‘…and i’m never gonna care ’bout my bad reputation…” and dance all over the apartment, like 18 times. Seriously.
I’m all about unfinished business. My goal is to eliminate all papers, consolidate all lists and streamline. I mean, really, do I need the same lists on the blackberry, ipod, the computer, and a hard copy… or two?? NO!!! (AFTER APRIL 4th, when Mercury retrograde is over, I’m contemplating purchasing an iphone to simplify.) I’ve gone through this purging before. This time around, I have clarity, more understanding of why it got out of control to begin with. With this knowledge, I can prevent the usual self sabotage.
The paper, clutter, and random stuff create not only visual confusion, but also, mental confusion. I’m so easily distracted…try doing savasana (yoga posture) when in the corner of your eye is a pile of CDs that says, “I’m waiting for you to sort me, I’ve been waiting forever so sort me NOW.” I’m then thinking about it and the concentration is lost. I can’t do a yoga pose if next to me is a stack of CDs waiting to topple on my head… I cannot pretend things are not in my face. Today I worked on both CDs and papers. I was about to give myself a deadline to finish, but if I fall short, I will beat myself up, and blah blah blah… Realistically, I should be done by Sunday, if I don’t get distracted…
I’m not looking for perfection…… anymore. I am not Martha Stewart, nor do I want to be…..anymore. I just want all the energy robbers, the ones that I can control, out the way so and I can get on with creating … can’t do it with disorder. I tried and failed. Truth is truth.
I sorted through the imposing CDs (Most were copies that I had to listen to because they were not labeled, or I wasn’t sure if I wanted them.) while sorting through papers. I can handle that kind of multi-tasking. The papers are in a more manageable pile now. I’m excited about sifting through clothes, again, shoes, again, and products, again…but, I’m jumping ahead… Presently, I see results. HUGE accomplishment.
I found old music, mostly from the 90’s, but a few classics from the 80’s (of course). And I found KID ‘N PLAY, throw back to 1988. I got my workout today because I MEMORIZED these moves from back in the day – minus the air flip… I couldn’t find the entire video when they do the little extra dance after FIN? But still enjoyable.
My legs WILL hurt tomorrow… sooooo worth it. Hmmm, I should probably create workouts based on my favorite songs …major fun …. I get to relive the 80’s, workout, AND dance… LOVING this idea… another form of expression… See? I’m already thinking more creatively without stuff in my face…