Breakin’ the law, breaking the law, Breaking the law, breaking the law…
Judas Priest blasting through the house at any time can be irritating. But JP is my husband’s favorite band. When I blast Wham! (not my favorite band) over and over again, I’m sure it is just as irritating. So, instead of asking him to turn it down, I grab my ipod or tune it out. NO BIG DEAL. It is called mutual respect. He wants to be happy. I want to be happy.
I wake up singing (screeching) as soon as I open my eyes. I am usually happy with high energy first thing in the morning, by 8pm, I am cranky. David is the opposite. I understand (now) that he will never be a morning person and I take it down a notch, and go elsewhere to make noise. He understands that I am excited to talk to him about everything I was obsessing over while he was asleep. We are who we are, nothing new.
Accept who your partner is today, but know the difference between trivial annoyances and larger issues. After you flip the situation, what can be over-looked? Some say, “choose your battles.” I do not “battle” with David (anymore). It isn’t about right/wrong, winning/losing, my way/his way. What is the real problem? (a habit, a personality trait, a health concern…)
But don’t be totally surprised when issues seem to come out of nowhere. We all get signs of what is to come and choose to ignore them for various reasons:
1. It isn’t a big deal, no one is perfect, they have so many other good qualities and you love them. 2. It was discussed, so you hope this and that will change 3. You mentioned this in a casual conversation and downplayed the importance 4. You think they will change and become more like you 5. You didn’t discuss it for fear of losing the person and/or not wanting to be alone 6. What you thought was “cute” in the beginning is now annoying 7. You think they will definitely change because you can fix them … or whatever else we tell ourselves.
Bottom line… You know who you are with. You knew what the issues were you before making a commitment. (Did I seriously expect him to never listen to Judas Priest in my presence? Really?) It isn’t fair to get into a relationship with someone and then demand or expect them to be something different from who they already are.
Are you really deflecting your own “stuff”? For example: It is annoying me less and less now that David has the phone all the time because I think the phone is more important than me and that he isn’t paying attention to me. Well I broke it down. 1. How can the phone be more important than me? 2. If I had something important to say, he would hear me, he always does. He is listening even when I think he isn’t (still freaks me out). So I can chill out about the phone. JUST CHILL. He may love the phone, but he loves me more (DUH!). When I break it down it becomes less about him and more about my insecurities, the deeper issue.
It comes down to the truth once again. Figure it out. Don’t allow pettiness in your relationship. Working this out can make you closer and live in peace and harmony. Or maybe you can’t work it out, but be honest with yourself.
Breaking The Law
[Halford/Tipton/Downing] There I was completely wasting, out of work and down all inside it's so frustrating as I drift from town to town feel as though nobody cares if I live or die so I might as well begin to put some action in my life Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law So much for the golden future, I can't even start I've had every promise broken, there's anger in my heart you don't know what it's like, you don't have a clue if you did you'd find yourselves doing the same thing too Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law You don't know what it's like Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law